I find I magnify myself and my problems to the point where God seems small or nonexistent in my life. I will get caught up in the fact that I was prideful or got upset because someone else is succeeding. Or I will dwell on my fleshy desires and the times I notice that someone is attractive. I will see where I haven’t accomplished all my God-given hopes and dreams and feel frustrated. And the more I live in that place I find it more and more difficult to rest in the Lord. Even when I’m no longer struggling any specific sin or failure I’m grieving, I enter into a place of fixing my eyes on me rather than on Jesus.
This isn’t a new problem or something that I face alone. One of the oldest Psalms written, Psalm 90, expresses so well this age-old-walk-down-the-idolatry-of-self road. Listen carefully to the wisdom God gave Moses as He prayed.
1 Lord, you have been our dwelling place
throughout all generations.
2 Before the mountains were born
or you brought forth the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God.
3 You turn men back to dust,
saying, “Return to dust, O sons of men.”
4 For a thousand years in your sight
are like a day that has just gone by,
or like a watch in the night.
5 You sweep men away in the sleep of death;
they are like the new grass of the morning-
6 though in the morning it springs up new,
by evening it is dry and withered.
7 We are consumed by your anger
and terrified by your indignation.
8 You have set our iniquities before you,
our secret sins in the light of your presence.
9 All our days pass away under your wrath;
we finish our years with a moan.
10 The length of our days is seventy years—
or eighty, if we have the strength;
yet their span is but trouble and sorrow,
for they quickly pass, and we fly away.
11 Who knows the power of your anger?
For your wrath is as great as the fear that is due you.
12 Teach us to number our days aright,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
13 Relent, O LORD! How long will it be?
Have compassion on your servants.
14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
15 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
for as many years as we have seen trouble.
16 May your deeds be shown to your servants,
your splendor to their children.
17 May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us;
establish the work of our hands for us—
yes, establish the work of our hands.
I love that. Yes, Lord, in spite of my frailties, may Your favor rest upon me and I beg ofyou to establish the work of my hands. Without You I accomplish nothing. There truly is nothing new under the sun. Ecclesiastes 1:9.