21st Apr, 2009

Who or What Will You Be Ruled By?

I’m going to write on a topic I haven’t written on in a while, and it has nothing to do with our upcoming move, selling most of our worldly possessions, and very little to do with being a missionary. It’s a sexy topic, though, and I had these thoughts run through my head. I felt compelled to put them down. I’m not sure I want to do so, but here they are.

Yes, this post is about sex. And, yes, such thoughts run through my head from time to time.

I was perusing the headlines and saw the “news” about backlashes against a Miss USA contestant from California for her stance on gay marriage. She publicly stated she believed marriage was something between a man and a woman. As a result, one of the judges called her a “dumb [female dog]” on his blog. He even said he would have stormed the stage and ripped off her tiara if she had won – all because she stated her conviction that marriage was about a man and a woman.

I wonder what the standard is for choosing Miss USA pageant judges.

Can’t we agree that sex is not essential to living? In other words, if I were truly a celibate man and remained celibate my entire life, I could live a healthy life with a full life span. It’s even possible to do so and have a high quality of life.

I can’t say that about food or water. I can’t say that about taking a shower or a bath or washing my hands. I can’t say that about body movement or other things, but, as to sex, I can live a long and prosperous life without ever experiencing it, whether it is sex with a woman or a man.

When people get all up in arms about gay marriage, adultery, sleeping around, shacking up, or any of a great number of other things I don’t want to start my mind thinking about and say it’s all about consenting adults and natural impulses and needs, all I can think is that given the fact that we don’t have to have sex all such arguments fall flat. In fact, it would seem that every human has a choice – they can be in control of their bodies or they can let sex rule them. If I can’t help myself because i believe I have gay tendencies and therefore act out on them, does that mean I’m just “living the way I was born to live”? I don’t think so. I think I am letting my hormones control me. If I can’t help myself because I am super attracted to women and therefore sleep with anyone who is willing to sleep with me, then I’m not just “having fun” – I’m enslaved by my desires for sex. And sex is a cruel master. I’m sure that is another thing many if not most people would agree with me about in an honest moment.

Now, having said all of this, it is clearly not right to decide someone is a bad person or to decide not to be friends with someone because they struggle in this area – the area of sex. If that were an appropriate basis for friendship or relationship, then I’m headed for loneliness. Just as we are commanded to serve God alone, we also are commanded to love one another, just as Jesus loved us. And Jesus loved us while we were yet sinners.

I’d much rather be free than a slave. I don’t always do it well. I all too often long for sexual release in ways other than what God describes in His word as good, pure, and healthy for us. But I always have a choice, because I’m not going to die if I don’t give in to my desires. I can choose self-control and let God be God, or I can choose to let sex be my god.

I pray daily that I will continue to let God be God. As Joshua once said so well, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

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