CHARIS SHALOM

24th Sep, 2007

Emotional Honesty

What is it? What should it look like?

I was driving back to my house from playing tennis this morning and I was thinking about emotions and how they work. For me I often do not show negative emotions except for anger, on occasion. Otherwise, I generally am a positive guy. I don’t get too down, don’t moan too much about pain, and don’t let much ruffle my feathers. I do smile a lot and love to make other people smile.

I also tend to discourage my kids from showing negative emotions. I don’t want them to cry. I don’t like it when they complain. I tend to suggest that they shouldn’t display any hurt.

I think I am that way in part because that is what I was taught, but I also think I get a bit confused about what it means to have the joy of the Lord. And therein lies my question and the point of this post. What is emotional honesty? Given what we can see as godly examples all through the bible I don’t think Christians have to be all smiles all the time. I also think that when we try to put on a happy face when we don’t have a happy heart it may be a false witness, to others and to God. I believe He wants us to be honest with Him - brutally so.

Look at Jeremiah.

Meditate on David’s singing, railing about his enemies having success.

How bold Habakkuk seems yelling at God.

And everyone who has an anger problem loves to point to Jesus’ row with the temple’s moneychangers.

The more I see the impact of my quickness to quiet my children’s emotions the more I wonder if I’m doing the right thing. What do you think? I’m interested in your opinion and in any scripture you might have to address these types of questions.

Posted by: Bryan Riley

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Responses

I wear my emotions on my sleeve in a large way. Good or bad, that’s how I am wired. I think it is important to be honest with God first then others. Someone said recently that it is only when we’re broken can the light of Christ shine through. When we’re broken and are honest about our feelings others can see our transperencies. I have been amazed at how much that honesty can connect an unbeliever with the heart of God.

Plenty of people were honest about their emotions in the Bible. I am not a scholar but I think about Mordeci who wore ashes, Job who mourned as he scraped his boils, David, Jeremiah and Isaiah who lamented. I think Peter was probably an emotionally extreme person in the new testament. I don’t think the Bible explicitelly says it, but surely Paul expressed his emotions to other disciples after his floggings, ship-wrecks, hunger, cold and sleepless nights in prison. What I have become disciplined in and have an even longer way to go is not to complain. The Bible speaks very clearly about that. In the light of Paul’s trials we have very little to complain about.

By: Laura Hicks on September 24th, 2007
at 9:16 pm

Thank you, Laura, for sharing that. I agree. I think many men may read what you wrote and say, “but of course, Laura is a woman.” I don’t think this is a man/woman thing. I think men are wired differently, but it doesn’t change how integrity should work in our lives.

Brokenness is talked about often in the scripture and it is always something God honors. Two of my favorite verses from the Psalms say:

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. (Psalm 51)

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34)

By: Bryan Riley on September 25th, 2007
at 6:29 am

Great post and comments here.

Emotions are a part of being human; Jesus was hardly as he is often portrayed in film. He was not a person who lived above everything, as if nothing ever bothered or affected him.

Of course we who are broken and sinners are not going to have it all together. So why pretend that we do emotionally when we don’t? Especially before God and before our brothers and sisters in Jesus.

By: Ted M. Gossard on September 26th, 2007
at 8:19 pm