Yesterday morning I had this feeling that I needed to give one of the teenagers (16 year old boy) here at the King’s Lodge five pounds (about $10.00 US). I had that gut feeling that it was God talking to me, but I immediately thought it surely must just be my mind playing tricks on me. Ten bucks. Sounds absolutely silly. I was afraid I’d seem really trite giving such a “small gift.” I thought to myself that he would think I was silly or cheap. Frankly, I think I was too proud to do something small like that. I like it better when God asks me to give big dollars or do big things for Him, not little things.
So, because of all the excuses and pride that ran through my head, I wrestled with this voice in my head that said give the five pounds. All day long I struggled. I was glad I hadn’t seen him at all. I thought, well, I could put it in his mailbox in an envelope, but I knew that I wasn’t supposed to do that. These thoughts came back to me at dinner, after dinner, all evening. Finally, about 9 p.m. I saw him. He was in the snack bar but he was talking with another guy. I just couldn’t walk up and drop five pounds in his lap in front of someone else. But I was in agony! And I was fighting with God about the stupid five pounds.
I left the area and went upstairs. I thought perhaps I could check my email and get ready for bed. I go to my computer and it freezes up. I can’t get it to do anything. So I grumbled and went backstairs assuming he’d still be there. He was, but he was still with the other guy. I sat down at a computer in the snack bar and started doing my email. About 11 p.m. or so he and the other guy get up and start to leave. At this point I know I have to give him the five pounds so I called out his name.
He walked over and asked me what was up. I told him that God told me to give him five pounds and that I’d been wrestling with it all day because it seemed silly. I just wanted to give him the money and be done with it; I couldn’t even hardly look at him. Here I am, 36 years old, but I was just embarassed completely with the whole situation.
He says something I don’t understand and I say “catchya later,” without looking up. He says, “No, you don’t understand,” and he plops down on the couch with a tear in his eye. He then, after several deep breaths, begins telling me about how he felt so stupid because he had started reading this series of sci-fi books and was obsessed with him. He had read the first seven, finishing #7 just four days prior. Now, he needed number 8. He had obsessed about it for the last three days, walking into town, looking for it at used book stores because his family has been through a difficult time financially of late and he simply couldn’t buy it new. He had been struggling for a while with praying and faith because he had been disappointed by unanswered prayers. And now, this silly book and his obsession drove him to walk all over town, and finally, he cried out to God and asked Him to get Him the book fast. He had just prayed that prayer, feeling stupid for praying it, that morning about the time God told me to give him the five pounds.
He needed five pounds to buy the book new. His prayer, for a tiny thing that wasn’t spiritual or even something he truly needed, was answered. And he was overwhelmed with the reality of God’s goodness to his children.
In that moment, God said this to me… even in the little things listen for my voice and follow my direction. Never underestimate the power of faith and obedience. I laugh thinking of the whole scenario. Me, begrudgingly obeying, having to be humbled to even approach the situation; this young man, desperate for a book with little value, finally humbling himself to ask God for help. None of it seems worthy of honoring by the King of all kings, but He provided nonetheless for both of us.
What an amazing God we serve.
Posted by: Bryan Riley
Categories:
