CHARIS SHALOM

Oh the beautiful way God has with us – He is taking us from where we are into the very image of Jesus. No matter what we see today; no matter how dark things appear or even seem to disappear; God will not leave us as orphans, unable to grow. No, God will gloriously complete what He has begun in us.

Just when I grow hopeless, Hope appears. Just when I feel faint with fear, Love conquers. My spirit is weak and poorly, but oh how precious is His great grace for me.

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.

Romans 8:26-30 (MSG).

My heart aches to see the dreams He has planted in Tara’s and my heart come to be. They will.

I cannot wait! Thank you, Lord, for helping me wait on you.

Wow, the below paragraph regarding Bobby Petrino’s mistakes from a story on ESPN says quite a bit about men and husbands with very few words. Jeff MacGregor, its author, pulls no punches. Bobby Petrino is the former Head Coach of the Arkansas Razorback football team, a husband, and a father of four children, fired for numerous lies and schemes related to a girlfriend he hired to work for the football program and who was half his age.

If Bobby Petrino had spent as much time scheming conference defenses as he did scheming marital offenses, he’d be the King of Football. And if he’d put as much effort into being married as he put into committing adultery; if he’d spent just half the ingenuity and energy and money on his wife that he lavished on his mistress, he’d be the first man in history to do so. Rather, he’s a punch line, a cliché, a red-faced midlife Electra Glide cautionary tale for every horny orthodontist who ever wandered the floor of his local Harley dealership looking to buy back his youth. And for this, deep down in his lightless heart, you know he blames his wife for not giving him what “he needs.”

Lord, help me invest my life not only in my marriage and family, but also into seeing healthy marriages and families everywhere! Forgive me for the numerous times I’ve failed as a husband and daddy! Thank you for grace.

I saw these statistics published in a blog by Bryan and Shannon Miles:

43% of US children live without their father [US Department of Census]
90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]
80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes. [Criminal Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, pp. 403-26, 1978]
71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father. [U.S. Department of Health and Human Services press release, Friday, March 26, 1999]
63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]
85% of children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. [Center for Disease Control]
90% of adolescent repeat arsonists live with only their mother. [Wray Herbert, “Dousing the Kindlers,” Psychology Today, January, 1985, p. 28]
71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. [National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools]
75% of adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes. [Rainbows for all God’s Children]
70% of juveniles in state operated institutions have no father. [US Department of Justice, Special Report, Sept. 1988]
85% of youths in prisons grew up in a fatherless home. [Fulton County Georgia jail populations, Texas Department of Corrections, 1992]
Fatherless boys and girls are: twice as likely to drop out of high school; twice as likely to end up in jail; four times more likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems. [US D.H.H.S. news release, March 26, 1999]

This is why I am absolutely committed to doing whatever I can to see families made whole. Just as some are called to combat homelessness or poverty or the sex slave trade, I see God moving my heart and passion to combat anything that would destroy the family. And, as I see things like this, I see more and more that I must focus on my heart as a husband and a daddy so that I can also help other men do the same. I have failed in this area enough; let it begin with me as I submit to Jesus and He strengthens me.

Last night we had a lovely dinner with a younger couple we have been blessed to get to know. They are preparing to leave for Germany, as the husband is a pilot in the military. They too have spent quite a bit of time doing international missions, meeting and falling in love along the way. We shared stories about how we met as couples, and they asked us a number of questions about our 17-plus years of marriage.

At one point, in response to a question about something Tara had learned that really helped her in our marriage, Tara began sharing about how she had to learn that she was not responsible for my actions and that she could not control what I did. (I’m unfortunately really good at helping her figure that one out.) She said that she had to learn that the main thing she could do is pray. As she said it, I realized that one of the main things we must learn, as we navigate marriage and all of the other relationships in our lives, is that we are not God – in other words, we must learn humility. We must let God be God and we must live within the authority we have. We must humbly walk out the responsibilities God has given us and not try to usurp authority we have not been given. We must also trust God (through prayer) to be the loving, good, and kind God He is who promises to complete the good work He has begun in each one of us.

According to scripture my main function as a husband is to love my wife and to submit to her in love. There is nothing in those scriptural admonitions that tells me to control, boss, or discipline Tara; likewise, Tara is not given authority to control or discipline me. We must both submit to one another and to the Lord and trust God to continue his good work in us. To do anything else is to question whether God is really doing a good job. In essence, when we try to exercise authority we are not given, we are judging that God has been ineffective, removing God from the throne, and setting ourselves up in His place. The end results are never good, in marriage or otherwise.

The next time you are tempted to judge your spouse or friend and try to “save” them from all the bad things you’ve determined they do, step back, give it all to God, and pray earnestly for yourself and for them. He is much more interested in working with you on your own heart and relationship with Him than He is in you fixing someone else.

I cannot claim to know everything about prayer, but I think too often we allow our understanding of what prayer is deter us from being a people of prayer. As I explore the nature of prayer, in scripture and in my life, I am moving to a more simple understanding of it.

Simply put, prayer is the result of a relationship with God. It is the overflow of our hearts, minds, and spirits when we live in the reality of Who God Is. Prayer is the process of getting to know God, His character, heart and nature, hearing from Him and responding with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. Prayer, when we are doing the talking, is speaking out His very words to us. So, real prayer is, at a minimum, hearing from God. Only sometimes does it also involve our speaking. Effective prayer is that prayer that flows out of abiding in Him, for apart from our source we can do nothing. John 15.

I hardly write anymore. Blogging – typing up my thoughts – used to be a regular part of my life, as did considering the posts of other writers. That part of my daily routine is no longer routine. And it wasn’t something that slipped away as I moved from a missionary’s lifestyle to holding a “normal” job here in the United States. It actually slipped away long ago in the midst of our work as YWAMers.

Blogging provided a community, albeit virtual, in my life. The longer I was in YWAM the less I needed that community. I was surrounded by and consumed by community while in Kona at the University of the Nations. I didn’t need to read someone else’s blog to ponder theology or life in general; I could simply have a cup of coffee at the Banyan Tree Cafe with any number of fascinating followers of Jesus from all over the U.S. and world. I could steal a conversation with an interesting player at our local theatre. I could spend an hour looking at the ocean and communing with my Father in heaven.

What I am finding that I miss most about working full-time in missions is that my full-time job was people. I did not have multiple deadlines to meet or long lists of tasks to perform. Instead, I was committed to trying to live like Jesus for the people God brought into my life or to whom God sent me. Our family often called it living love and we challenged ourselves to “live love.”

Although I know that is how I should live 100% of the time, regardless of my circumstances, it seems so much more difficult now. This is especially true as I take seriously my call to be a husband and a father. After being at work most of the day I generally want to ensure that my role as husband and father get nearly all the remaining time of each day. I know my call must be first to Jesus, and His call is to the world, but I seem to have difficulty moving much outside my own home when it comes to thoughts of giving my life away.

Lord, please give me wisdom to follow the path that you set out for me that will enable me to be free to live love. I know that is what you created us to do. I clearly don’t know how to do it and I need your Spirit to guide me and empower me through it.

“Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.”

Exodus 34:14

God’s name is Jealous? Really? Jealousy seems like a bad thing. I mean, what husband or wife doesn’t get driven a little bit crazy by the jealous actions of their spouse?

This morning I was running. I had a strong sense from the Lord that I needed to stop and walk. Now, I seriously struggled with this because my mind often tells me when I am running to stop and walk. I mean, sometimes, when it is really a difficult run, my mind practically screams, “STOP!”

The sense was so strong, and it didn’t seem to be a physical or mental thing, that I stopped jogging and began walking even though I had only run 2.5 miles and was planning on running 3.1 miles. Then, I clearly heard the Lord tell me to walk around a specific block. So I did.

As I began walking my iPod began playing “Slow Fade.” This is a song about how we can slip into sin. We don’t set out to do so, but we slowly fade from a place of righteous living into a place where all seems gray and we make choices we shouldn’t. The song plays off of the famous children’s song, “Oh be careful little eyes what you see.” At that moment I saw a house with a light on. It was still early morning and completely dark. Out of the corner of my eye I realized someone walked by the window inside the house and I began looking at the window as I was walking, my thoughts wondering whether someone might walk by in less than full attire.

At that very moment, “Slow Fade” ended and a new song began playing: “How He Loves Me.” The very first line of that song is this – “He is jealous for me.” In that moment, like no other in my life, I understood what it means that God’s name is Jealous. I understood that He was always with me and always watching over me. And He loves me like no other. He loves me more than my wife does. Just as I wouldn’t stare at another woman in front of my wife, He longs for me to love Him in that way – not to allow anything to distract me from Him, whether it be a woman, a hobby, work, anything. He loves me so much that He is jealous for me, and what I see when I feel my wife’s jealousy is a small picture of how much He loves me and is jealous (and zealous) for me. It’s not a bad thing – it is the awesome power of His love for me, the all loving, all powerful God of the Universe who only does what is best for me.

His zeal for me is such that He left the heavens, came to earth in the form of a servant, and died for me.

O How He Loves Me! And O how he loves you! Rest in His jealous zeal like never before.

The woman gave birth to a boy and named him Samson. He grew and the LORD blessed him, and the Spirit of the LORD began to stir him while he was in Mahaneh Dan, between Zorah and Eshtaol. Judges 13:24-25

God blessed Samson, the man who ordered his parents about (”Get her for me.” – Judges 14:3), tore lions apart, broke his oath by eating honey from the dead lion’s carcass (Judges 14:9), intentionally hid his oath breaking from his parents, burned with anger, had little self control, was incredibly weak in will power around his wife, Delilah, visited prostitutes (Judges 16:1), and lived a life that many would consider quite filled with barbarity and vulgarity. God repeatedly came upon Samson, filling him with his Spirit, and enabling him to do great feats of strength and power.

Samson led the people of Israel for 20 years and his story can be found in Judges 13-16. From the beginning of his life, one can see how God ordered his life, from enabling his barren mother to bear him to coming upon him in strength and power as he pushed down pillars to kill himself and thousands of Philistines.

I don’t think there is a modern counterpart to a man like Samson, at least not to his incredible strength, but if one can picture a mix of a professional wrestler and Elvis Presley perhaps that might be a dim reflection of who Samson was. He does not seem to be the man we would model at the front of many modern day churches.

Nevertheless, this man is listed among the men and women of great faith in Hebrews 11. His name appears alongside men such as David, Abraham, Noah, and others. In reading his story it is difficult to find what many would judge to be redeeming qualities about him, but he is seen as a hero of the faith. The one redeeming quality he has is that God blessed him and filled him with His Spirit.

Did you catch that?

The one redeeming quality Samson had was that God blessed him and filled him with His Spirit. Samson had faith not because he mustered it up, but because God gave it to him. Samson was a hero because God made him a hero.

God’s ways are difficult to understand (Romans 11:33-36), but I do understand this: I want to be a man of faith, love, grace, and wisdom. I see repeatedly in the Scripture that those are things that men and women don’t gain themselves. Those qualities come from God, the only one who is Good. Therefore, I shall – I must – go to God and plead for an increase in my faith, love, grace, wisdom and more. I want to live as Jesus lived. May God make it so. Romans 12:1-2.

May His face shine upon me.

Many, LORD, are asking, “Who will bring us prosperity?”
Let the light of your face shine on us.

Psalm 4:6

The beginning words of the most revered passage of the Jewish scriptures, the Shema, are words of instruction to the Jewish people. “Hear, O Israel….” God asks His children to hear Him speak.

One of the greatest things I learned while serving in Youth With A Mission full-time was to listen to God’s voice. Loren Cunningham, YWAM’s Founder, consistently teaches followers of Jesus around the world to listen for God’s voice. His first book, “Is That Really You, God?” captures this key YWAM value by telling many of the stories of YWAM’s beginnings as God directed Loren and his wife, Darlene, through establishing their amazing ministry. They first sought God’s direction before they took any steps in ministry or went to any other country to serve.

It is no accident that YWAM has had amazing success given its value to hear first from the Lord and then to do whatever He says. Similarly, it is no accident that God first asks His people to hear from Him. It is in that place of hearing that we can then do the next thing He asks of us.

What comes next in the Shema? What does God require of us?

Here is what the Lord says:

“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.”

Deuteronomy 6:4-5

Oh the beauty of these words! The devoted Jewish follower of Yahweh would recite this throughout each day, time and time again. And oh how beautiful it is to know that what God wants us to hear, and what God cries out to us is a call to love Him. That’s it!

“Love Me!”

God doesn’t desire anything less than our love, our devotion, our hearts, our souls, our minds, our strength. God sees us as worthy to love Him and He craves it from us.

So, hear Him cry out to you a cry of love. And listen to Him. Bathe yourself in that cry and walk forward full of love, equipped to do whatever He asks of you.

For nearly five years our family lived by raising support to accomplish our work. We worked as YWAM missionaries across four continents, seeking to follow God wherever He led us and to do whatever He asked us to do. It made no sense and it seemed like we were being countercultural to many of our friends. We sold or gave away nearly all we had and lived by what others gave us, not because we were so altruistic, but because we saw how God blessed us and others through it all. Now that we are back in the business world, I’m not so sure that there really is much difference. I definitely know we are called to live the same way, regardless.

What made it so fun and amazing is that we always had more than enough. We never went hungry and we were always able to give to others who asked us for something. We supported other missionaries on a regular basis and helped feed and clothe people along the way. The resources God provided us through others was more than enough to bubble over and supply even more people with their needs. We gave away more as missionaries than we ever did when we were making six-figure incomes.

Sometimes friends of mine in business struggled with what we were doing. The American system – capitalism – thrives on hard work for a profit, personal investment, personal property, saving, borrowing, lending, return on investment. It was hard for my business-minded friends to imagine not knowing where the next meal might come from or not having some steady cash flow. And they really couldn’t fathom how we could continue to give stuff away. Conventional wisdom suggested that we should begin to live more and more frugally, keeping as much as we could for ourselves to ensure that we didn’t go hungry.

The more I think about it, however, it makes perfect sense – especially in light of the way resources work and what makes capitalism work as well as it does.

God illustrates His principles for our resources well in the Parable of the Talents. There we learn of three servants who each receive varying amounts of money. Two of the three invest their talents (talent being the currency) while one buries his. When the master returns, the two who invested the talents have doubled their money. Naturally, the one who buried his talent can only return what he was given.

In the end of the parable we see the master punishing the servant who buried his talent, taking the talent from him and giving it to the one who had the most. It is the one who kept the money to himself (burying it) that we see being called wicked. Those who invested their money are seen as the ones who did the appropriate thing.

So, what does this mean? Does this validate capitalism?

No. What it validates is how God designed things to work in this world. It validates that God’s ways are always the best ways. God made it so that multiplication only occurs through giving.

Investment is a form of giving. I have resources. If I invest them, I am in fact giving the resources to another person to use as they see fit. I may not get them back at all. I may get them back with interest. Regardless, the first step to any multiplication always involves giving or transfer. If all I do with my resources is keep them for myself, then they will never grow or multiply. When I plant a dollar in the ground, it will never grow more dollars. Instead, it will remain the same dollar, and, over time, it will most likely be worth less when I unbury it than what it was worth when I buried it.

Isn’t this ironic?

To increase my resources I must give them away. This truth is true whether applied in business, non-profit, or personal life.

It is true with respect to every resource I have. I have to give away love to see my love grow. I have to give away my skills (use them for others) to see them enhanced.

I have to give freely to live freely.

Jesus demonstrated this. We need to live it to demonstrate Jesus to the world. And, as we do this we will begin to see less poverty, less crime, less needs across and around the world. It makes no sense that we can live with over 90% of the world’s wealth and feel good about the billions living on less than two dollars a day. If we begin to give away more of what we have, not only will we see a return, but we will also begin to see more justice and more of the Kingdom of God. We don’t live in a world of finite resources. We live in a Kingdom ruled by an infinite God. If we begin to live as though we only have enough for ourselves, we will begin to see our resources shrink and disappear. This is true whether we are living based on the support of others, have a paycheck, or own our own business.

Giving truly does make cents.

All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.

Hebrews 11:13-16

I love this. Right in the middle of the Hall of Faith of Hebrews 11 we see such an amazing description of lasting faith. There are so many shocking statements here, not the least of which is this:

They did not receive the things promised….

Their faith lasted. They had faith even to the point of death even though they did not receive the things promised. They could only see them in a distance.

We live in a world where the goodness of God is questioned when someone stubs a toe or suffers from a cold. Faith is challenged when a mom dies from cancer or when an earthquake wipes out thousands. And people often find themselves fearing thoughts of “Why do bad things happen to good people?” I could view the pain of gallstones (8 straight hours of pain that pushed me to the point of near insanity) and the breakdown of my car in the past few days as something bad, or I can rejoice in the Lord.

This post isn’t about the issue of judging good and bad – one of the greatest lies – but so many of our questions can be answered through lasting faith and through a recognition of the fact (by faith) that our judgment of what is good and what is bad simply cannot approach God’s Truth of what is Good and Evil.

I also think it is important to remember that questioning God is good! When our faith is challenged it is infinitely better to ask God about it than to try to find the answers from the world or ourselves. So many of the biblical heroes and prophets often questioned God’s goodness and the circumstances they or their people faced. In that place of seeking, God answered, and through their penned angst we have many beautiful and inspiring passages of Scripture by which we can live.

Oh to see things in the distance – not this lifetime, but the eternity beyond. While my body is decaying, my spirit is not. God is transforming me, molding me more into the original image He had for me and one day, yes, one day, all will be complete. And while I will face troubles innumerable and diverse in this life, I can stand with my family of faith and say that i will see the goodness of the Lord in this life and beyond.

Like David prayed,

I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.

Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

Psalm 27:13-14

Glory.

I love Genesis. Reading the first few chapters never ceases to amaze and intrigue me.

One of the biggest debates some Christians have is whether God literally created the earth in six days or not. Some are so insistent the account be literal that it becomes a litmus test for “real” faith. When I was a teenager I was probably on that side of the argument. And I loved the argument.

I don’t put much thought into it today. My faith is that God could have created the entire universe in 6 nanoseconds, 6 seconds, 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 days, 6 millennia. He is and He is able. The real question isn’t really one of faith; it is more how one approaches the text of Scripture.

Many who argue the days aren’t literal 24-hour days stop at the text that notes that it wasn’t until the fourth day that God created the sun and moon to govern the day and night. The conclusion taken from this is that perhaps one could argue that from that day forward there were “days,” but the first three to four days clearly couldn’t have been a reference to 24-hour periods of time as defined by the sun because there was no sun in existence – particularly if you are going to focus on the literal text. I understand that view, but would look beyond day four to add questions to the mix.

The traditional view of chapters 1 and 2 of Genesis is that in chapter 1 we see the general account of creation, day by day. In that chapter, the author of Genesis, inspired by God, writes that it is on the 6th day that “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” In chapter 2, traditionalists would say, we see the specific narrative of man’s creation. So, literally, what is taking place in chapter 2 is the specific accounting of the 6th Day of chapter 1.

A literal reading of chapter 2 is where I see problems with a literal, 24-hour, six-day Creation. Many things raise questions about how all of chapter two could have taken place in one day. But, we see in chapter two that there is some period of time where Adam, man, is alone, without female. Nevertheless, in chapter one it is clear that on the 6th Day God created male AND female. That suggests that the period of time Adam was alone, if the days are literal 24-hour periods, was short and all within a 24-hour period.

What all happened in the time that Adam was alone? (Note that his solitude was not good – the one thing about creation God said was not good – a great comment on God’s relational character and purpose.) Here’s the text:

The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.”

The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.

But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

Genesis 2:15-22

According to Genesis 2, the following events occurred from the time Adam was created until the time Eve was created, Day 6 of Genesis 1, when God created man in His own image, male and female he created them:

1. God put Adam in the Garden of Eden.
2. God gave Adam instruction about taking care of the garden.
3. God gave Adam instruction about what he could and could not eat.
4. God brought Adam “all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air” so that Adam could name them.
5. God found no suitable helper for Adam in all of those animals.
6. God caused Adam to sleep deeply.
7. God took part of Adam and fashioned Eve therefrom (Adam awakes at some point).
8. God brought Eve to Adam.

That’s a lot of happenings in less than 24 literal hours. Whereas God can do all things in an infinitely small or large amount of time, as He is unlimited by time, Adam could not. When we learn that God brings “all” of the beasts of the field and birds of the air for Adam to name, we understand that such events occurred in the context of time. The sun and moon were governing the days and nights. It excites me to know that Adam and God had this amazing, intimate time together. That strengthens my faith in the type of intimate relationship God, our Father, desires to have with us. They were hanging out in the garden, naming animals (God was allowing Adam to be a part of His creation), walking, talking, and enjoying one another.

If Adam was anything like you or me, he may have had some difficulty making decisions about the names. Tara, the kids, and I were just trying to come up a name for the new puppy we are about to get. It has taken us two weeks to come up with just one name! I don’t think it took Adam that long for each one, but I do think that if God brought Adam hundreds of animals (even more if we take the word “all” literally here), there is no physical possibility that Adam named every animal in less than 24 hours. Add to all the naming his deep sleep and Eve’s formation and the limits of possibility are stretched beyond imagination.

So, a literal six 24-hour periods in Genesis 1? I really don’t think so. But I also don’t write all this to argue or point fingers at anyone. I just find Genesis so interesting that I love reading and analyzing it deeply. I don’t think God’s point in giving us the Creation account was to spell out precisely what He did so that we can box it up neatly. The real gems here are that God created, God is a relationship, God loves relationship, and God desires relationship for us and with us.

Reading Genesis and asking all of these types of questions doesn’t challenge my faith; to do so increases my faith in an amazing God, a great big God who isn’t limited by my “literal reading” of Scripture or by my imagination. He is bigger than that and bigger than me.

Questions really don’t suggest a lack of faith; they can inspire us to even great faith – “being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not….” Hebrews 11:1.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4:6-8

I watched Secret Millionaire for the first time all the way through tonight and was overjoyed by it. The Co-founders of Curves fitness were transformed by moving from their comfort zone into the Third Ward of Houston, Texas. Some might say the Third World of the Third Ward. That would be an over exaggeration because the poverty we see in America really is unlike poverty in developing nations, but when you are used to an affluent lifestyle it is quite shocking to see how people live on less than ten dollars a day.

What Gary and Diane Heavin experienced is exactly what all followers of Jesus need to experience. When Jesus said go and make disciples, He truly meant go – away from your comfort zone and into areas where you can take your comforts and give them away. What is amazing is how doing that – going, and giving – not only blesses those whom you comfort, but it also blesses you. And Gary and Diane demonstrated that first hand during this episode of Secret Millionaire.

The other beautiful aspect of this show was that it proved that going out and blessing others doesn’t necessarily require going around the world (although I highly encourage that); instead, we can all be blessed by just going across our home towns into areas we otherwise have never gone. We simply have to cross the street and get to know someone. As we grow closer to people we don’t know, we begin to want to bless them with what we have, whether material gifts or spiritual/emotional blessings, and from that place of relationship we can then impact their lives and our own.

This doesn’t mean someone with material blessings going to areas of material poverty in all cases. Instead it could mean someone who has very little money but who has time and who gives that time helping disabled individuals. Or it can mean someone who is free going into a prison to bless prisoners. It simply means taking the comforts one has and finding people who don’t have those comforts. The results are multiplication of the comforts, gifts, and blessings.

We really do reap what we sow. Sow blessings and reap blessings abundant – not only for the ones we bless but for ourselves as well. Secret Millionaire is well worth a watch if you haven’t seen it yet.

An earthquake rips open a chasm in the earth throwing the ocean over a wide expanse of the Japanese coast killing thousands and leaving the country in turmoil.

In the aftermath several nuclear plants are on the verge of meltdown and explosions, and no one seems to know how seriously we should take it.

Not only are thousands of people dead or missing across Japan, but thousands more have lost friends, husbands, wives, sons, daughters, fathers, mothers, cousins, dogs….

It doesn’t take epic-sized disasters to discover the heaviness of this life. In fact, I think we more often ignore the tsuanamis of life as the reality of their devastation would literally overwhelm us. But perhaps we also become numb to the daily deluges we face; I know I have.

I met a wonderful man yesterday who has Parkinson’s disease. He is an American hero, serving our country in Vietnam, building an amazing business, and he has a hard time walking across the room without losing control of his feet and being temporarily paralyzed in space. He faces his battle bravely and it has made him a more compassionate man.

Someone close to me is facing the future of Alzheimer’s slowly corroding her brain and putting her in a fog that never dissipates until death separates her from her body.

The media continues to perpetuate fear as its main commodity, never failing to ask what if the worst possible scenario materializes and rarely offering a hope-filled alternative.

Rob Bell, a man who shares the love of Jesus and proclaims His name across the globe, is brutally attacked by critics when he writes his belief that “Love Wins.” People who haven’t read the book, including followers of Jesus and fellow pastors and theologians, accuse Rob of being a heretic and dismiss him. I haven’t yet read the book, but whether we can label Rob in some way or not, it is very heavy to see critics write things like “I wish Rob had been in Japan.”

The Westboro Baptist Church members.

War. Seriously. People will go to Japan and face the incredible risk of radiation and disease to save people, and people will take up guns to kill one another. What is it we are fighting about, really? We all are sons, daughters, moms, dads, husbands, wives, and all struggle with joy, sadness, love, anger, and pain. Yet we find it necessary to kill one another. Strange stuff.

Our family’s seeming inability to ride in a car for any period of time without someone bugging someone and someone needing to be told to stop.

Our ability to treat people we hardly know with great care and respect while finding ourselves uttering cruel remarks in our homes with those we love.

I find myself suspecting the worst of others and put myself at the center of things. I really hate that. I often assume people misunderstand me. Despite knowing it’s not all about me, I seem to default to selfish thought rather than selfless thought. And I don’t always give people the benefit of the doubt approach people with encouragement and hope.

And aren’t I glad my thoughts cannot be read or heard.

All of these things and more weigh heavily upon my heart. It’s tempting to lose all hope or to live in anxiety. But what is interesting is that I don’t feel “depressed” in the world’s way of looking at things. I feel more alive acknowledging the hardships of the world and the depravity of my heart than I ever have before. I think I’m learning about poverty of spirit and hope in the Lord. I see more and more each day how empty my solutions are, and my heart is, apart from Jesus.

Jesus faced this dying world by dying Himself. He didn’t try to take from what is already dying (the world); He took from Life, His Father, and gave His life away. And by living in the reality that apart from the Father He could do nothing, He didn’t look for answers in the world. As I stop looking to feed my needs and desires with what this world offers and seek God’s offering, I no longer fear radiation, food shortages, failing bodies or minds, or natural disasters. Instead, I am filled with compassion for those who are suffering, just as I am suffering, and desire to do more to point people to the One who suffered for them. And I live joyfully knowing that this place is not my home or my hope, His reign over me – the Kingdom of God – meets my every longing!

I feel like I could cry quite easily, a feeling that was once quite foreign to me. But in that place I am finding great peace and joy. I don’t understand it, but I like it. I feel alive. Something inside is groaning. I ache because there is so much pain. I don’t have to ignore it or numb myself anymore. God is real, alive, and really living in and through me. I don’t know exactly what it all means or that it is all good and right, but I know that my faith in Him seems stronger and I feel I can rest more easily knowing that He is God and I am not. And as His love fills me, I can face the tragedies and ask if I am part of His solution without fear. Wherever He leads, I will go!

Later this week, on March 18, 2011, at 3:26 a.m., to be precise, I will turn forty years of age.

Reaching this milestone raises numerous questions inside my noggin. I have to laugh, because I suppose it would actually be abnormal not to think about what it might mean to turn forty, and, for anyone who has crossed this way before, I am sure you can relate. I know that worry and despair clearly are unhelpful, so I endeavor to consider what I have learned and how I can build on those lessons for the years ahead.

Jesus never even reached the age of 40. That thought can lead me to dry places. I mean, if Jesus finished saving the world by the age of 33 then why am I still here and why haven’t I accomplished more? Is there any more to life at this point? A part of me thinks that if Jesus didn’t even live to be 40, then all of life is behind me. I have to remember that God continues to breathe life into me here on Earth, so He must have a continued purpose for me.

Moses, when he turned 40, found himself running for his life to the desert because he had murdered a man. Perhaps he was entertaining dark thoughts that led him to a literal dry place as he turned forty. Again, I must remind myself that thoughts of hopelessness do not lead to faith, hope or love.

Many other heroes of the bible had amazing 40th years. Isaac was 40 when he married Rebekah. Caleb was 40 years old when Moses sent him to spy out the land of Canaan. Caleb was one of two, with Joshua, who let his faith lead his decision about going into Canaan rather than his sight. Caleb also wholeheartedly followed after God all of his days and eventually entered the Promised Land a victor. The Bible tells us Caleb, as an 80-year old man, took possession of his land by force (and faith). Oh to be like Caleb as I head into my 41st year.

Here’s what God seems to be saying loudly and clearly to me as I seek His counsel: “I am who I am.” And, as I continue to ask for meaning from Him in this, I am seeing God and myself more clearly.

Frankly, turning forty helps me recognize the frailty of my life more now than I ever have. My skin (and hair) is thinner. My eyes have grown dimmer. If I fail to exercise, I gain weight no matter what I eat (perhaps that is the result of eating so much ice cream and fried food, but still, it didn’t use to hit me this way). I have arthritis in my left big toe, plantar fasciitis in my left foot, and more parts of my body ache than ever. I still play Ultimate, but now I really pay for it.

When I was younger I used to have a hard time understanding how a great man like Moses could have killed a man. Murder? That’s one of those “sins” on the “really bad” list that we all feel safe we would never do. But as my physical skin has gotten thinner, and my physical eyes have gotten dimmer, I find that my spiritual thin is thicker and my spiritual eyes see more clearly than ever before. Not only do I comprehend the frailty of my body, but I also know the frailty of my heart and the great selfishness that mars every thought. I know longer get smug comparing myself to other “sinners.” In fact, I often am saddened by the selfish acts committed because people believe the lies of the Enemy, because I see how easily I could be duped to do the same – no matter how “bad” the act may seem.

I “feel” Paul’s words from Romans 7 deeply:

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do….

So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?

As I ponder my brokenness, I see how beautiful, holy and great God is. I see that although I’ve always tried to be God, “I AM” not. God alone is “I AM.” And, as Paul concludes in the passage above, “Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!”

As I internalize more the truth that I am the created and not the creator, recognizing my fallenness and great need for Him, what then can I do?

This scripture sums it up well for me:

Since, then, we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade others. What we are is plain to God, and I hope it is also plain to your conscience. We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us, so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart. If we are “out of our mind,” as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:14-21

I must live this broken life to glorify God and point others to Him. Anything else is selfish, hopeless, and vain. He alone is my hope, my love, my everything! Apart from Him I can do nothing. I have lived 40 years on earth, but I have eternity in my heart and in Christ I can become the righteousness of God!!

Wow, as I wrote this and came to my conclusion, trying not to use too many words, I remembered the words Solomon wrote so long ago. And, because they so poignantly say what I am trying to say, I include them all here and encourage you to read not only the last chapter of Ecclesiastes, but the entire book in one setting. Shalom.

Remember your Creator
in the days of your youth,
before the days of trouble come
and the years approach when you will say,
“I find no pleasure in them”—
before the sun and the light
and the moon and the stars grow dark,
and the clouds return after the rain;
when the keepers of the house tremble,
and the strong men stoop,
when the grinders cease because they are few,
and those looking through the windows grow dim;
when the doors to the street are closed
and the sound of grinding fades;
when people rise up at the sound of birds,
but all their songs grow faint;
when people are afraid of heights
and of dangers in the streets;
when the almond tree blossoms
and the grasshopper drags itself along
and desire no longer is stirred.
Then people go to their eternal home
and mourners go about the streets.

Remember him—before the silver cord is severed,
and the golden bowl is broken;
before the pitcher is shattered at the spring,
and the wheel broken at the well,
and the dust returns to the ground it came from,
and the spirit returns to God who gave it.

“Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher.
“Everything is meaningless!”

The Conclusion of the Matter

Not only was the Teacher wise, but he also imparted knowledge to the people. He pondered and searched out and set in order many proverbs. 10 The Teacher searched to find just the right words, and what he wrote was upright and true.
The words of the wise are like goads, their collected sayings like firmly embedded nails—given by one shepherd. Be warned, my son, of anything in addition to them.

Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body.

Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the duty of all mankind.
For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.

Loren Cunningham, the Founder of Youth With A Mission, recently told a group of young people that they are either a missionary or a mission field. What a statement!

What does this mean? Is he saying that unless you go out and do international missions you aren’t really a Christian? Far from it.

He is simply challenging the Body of Christ to live their faith. God calls each one of us who would follow Jesus to be His ambassadors. 2 Corinthians 5:17. And, as such we are called to a ministry of reconciliation – to bring all men and women back into relationship with God. 2 Corinthians 5:18-21. God gives us the opportunity to join with Him in His mission. When we do that we are “missionaries.” For one it may be to go to some land far away. For another it may be to make disciples very near one’s home. For another it may be all of the above. Mission fields are any where there are people who haven’t yet awakened to the truth of God’s love through Jesus Christ.

So, are you a missionary or a mission field? Are you awakened to your call? Do you know how much the Father loves you and are you living from that love? Or, are you trapped by a belief that says you have to earn God’s love or that there is no God or some other lie and living accordingly?

Know Love. Live Love.

There we were, finally in the doctor’s office for our first official appointment for our fourth baby. We were so excited to learn more about everything.

Our kids so looking forward to having a baby.

We’ve enjoyed joking about our “geriatric” pregnancy and treasured the faith God raised up in us to go for an addition to our family.

Tara was beginning her twelfth week. But in seconds the doctor knew something was wrong. Not only had Tara been spotting all week, but what she initially saw on the ultrasound was a smaller baby. She left us alone with our fears to go get an ultrasound probe.

During the 8th week of Tara’s pregnancy – because she volunteers at the local Pregnancy Center – we got to see the heartbeat of our baby. It was thrilling. And because of that we began to let people know our exciting news. As it turns out, God blessed us with one look at our baby alive just before he or she died. The doctor confirmed today that the baby likely died in that 8th week of pregnancy.

In a moment, everything changes.

In a moment, dreams disappear.

In a moment.

Moments of finding the perfect stroller, shopping for a car that will fit a family of six, learning the gender of the baby and buying cute clothes and toys and preparing a nursery.

Going to Target will be harder now, every time we walk near the baby aisle.

The doctor told us that she thought the baby’s due date would have been May 13th. That’s Tara’s birthday. It will be good to remember on that day, not that we won’t remember every day.

But, even in that moment and the moments after we are reminded of God’s incredible goodness and grace. We have so much to be thankful for and lives to treasure. We have a family that is close and who desires to know God. We have three beautiful children who are on an adventure of life, love, laughter, and joy. We know that God’s plans are always better than our own and we trust Him wholeheartedly. We are like trees planted by the living water; we have no reason to fear and trust that God will make us fruitful!

I’ve been contemplating Jesus’ humanity a lot lately.

It’s blowing me away.

I am discovering I tend to think of Jesus as very different from me. It’s almost as though He surely floated above the earth and always was a bit separate from those who followed Him.

It’s hard to imagine Him playing with his brothers as a young boy. Do you ever think of Jesus scraping His knee? Or, did He ever have a cold? I believe he did, but I have never really thought about such things before now.

I have a hard time even typing “him” with anything less than a capital “H.”

Now, as I read the gospels I am considering Jesus, the son of man. I am imagining how I might “play” him if I were to be Jesus in a play or musical. What expressions were on His face? What was His tone of voice? What emotions was he experiencing as he was laughed at, pressed upon, tempted and in pain?

He really died. He bled. He cried. He wept. He laughed. He was tempted IN EVERY WAY just as we are. When people laughed at him, isn’t it reasonable to imagine that one of his temptations was to doubt that He could heal or raise someone from the dead, even though the Father was speaking it to Him? He was tempted in every way. Just go back and reread Mark 5 (as one example) and consider all that Jesus may have felt as a human in those stories.

The verse that really struck me is Luke 2:52. Not only did Jesus grow physically, but He grew in wisdom and in favor with God and man. Have you ever wondered how Jesus, God the Son, grew in wisdom and grew in favor with the Father???

He was fully human. That’s how. Yes, He was fully God, but Philippians 2 explains that He clothed himself with humanity. He submitted all His power and godliness into human flesh. Imagine Jesus as an infant, crying and unable to lift his head. Imagine Jesus with a stomach ache after nursing and burping up Mary’s milk. Imagine Jesus first learning to walk and falling down, over and over again. He did all of these things. Otherwise it would not have been so hard for his brothers and family to believe He was the Son of God. He would have not had so much trouble with miracles in his home town, where the faith in him was really small.

Jesus, the son of man. Hard to imagine. But as I contemplate it my heart yearns to know Him more. The love He had for us, to do what He did (taking on human flesh and submitting to all its frailties), is unfathomable and makes my heart explode with love for Him.

Even more amazingly He remains fully human and fully God.

I keep discovering something new, thinking I’ve learned something and that I’ve arrived at a truth, only to find that what I thought I knew is only a layer upon which to build new captivating thoughts.

Let the wise listen and add to their learning,
and let the discerning get guidance- Proverbs 1:5

Even the wise need to add to their learning, and it is the wise who know this.

I am a missionary, and even my understanding of what that means continues to grow. It’s a great picture of how we can keep learning. Interestingly enough, the word in the Hebrew for learning in Proverbs 1:5 can be interpreted as “captivated.” How I love to be captivated by the ever increasing revelation of my Daddy, God, the Father. And how He longs for me to know Him more. Ephesians 1:17-19; 3:14-21.

One example of an increased understanding involves what I do now. I am a missionary, currently working with Youth With A Mission. When I was a young Christian in a Southern Baptist Church, missionaries were professionals, paid by a big fund created by giving my the thousands of Southern Baptist churches, and they studied for years to go into some difficult place like the Congo, lived in a mud hut, and tried to get the “natives” to pray to receive Jesus. They might be there the rest of their lives. Or, at least most of their lives and then they’d come back to the United States to retire.

Then, in college, I discovered missionaries who raised money to do what they did. And missionaries who raised money to tell others how to be missionaries. And people who went on mission trips for short periods, doing things like building houses, giving away bibles, and teaching people English. Often mission trips were as much about helping those who were sent learn about God as it was helping people in developing nations learn about God.

With regard to being a “fundraising” missionary, I didn’t have a clue how I could ever raise money. That was not what I’d been taught. I needed to work hard and earn my own way in this world. And I didn’t have a wealthy family. But it was good for those who could do it. Besides, I was supposed to get my degree, get a good job, get married, get promoted a bunch, own a home, cars, and have kids. As long as I was going to church and trying to keep a quiet time (basically pray a little and read my bible), all would be good with Jesus.

As my life began to unravel chasing the American dream, God awakened me to the reality that there must be more than a house, two or more cars, becoming an officer in a business, and vacation. I also knew that being a missionary was a part of following Jesus. I just still didn’t really know what a missionary was (I’m still not sure I do now). I just knew that going to the nations was more than a good idea, it was a part of Jesus’ commission to His followers, and it would remove me from areas of my life in which I was struggling.

In the past four years I’ve been around the world with my wife and three kids. It has been an amazing journey. We’ve shared the gospel of salvation with thousands, literally. And we’ve seen hundreds pray to receive Christ. We’ve given away bibles, food, shoes, medicine, money, time, effort, and a lot more. We’ve put roofs on churches, homes, schools, and shanties. We’ve preached Jesus in four continents and touched many lives. And, God has touched our lives. But, as always, there is more.

During that four years I have learned that Jesus preached the gospel of the Kingdom. It was a gospel that was like yeast, where a small amount of yeast, mixed into a large amount of dough, can transform the entire loaf of bread being baked. And when you put the yeast in, you can’t even tell it is there, except for the resulting rising. In the same way, we who carry the Kingdom in our hearts should fill our world – in every aspect of it – and raise the level of hope, joy, love, and grace. We don’t necessarily have to be noticed – we just have to live Kingdom, through Christ in us, our hope of glory – and God will be glorified and transformation will occur.

I see a Kingdom where Kingdom citizens (those who believe in Jesus) are salt and light in this world. We aren’t meant to light up places that are already full of light (just sitting around with believers in a church or hanging out with others who think like us); instead, we should take Jesus and His reign and rule into the darkest places of the world where light is most needed. There, even if our light seems dim to us, our light will shine brightly.

And, in the midst of all this, I see we are called to cultivate our culture through the light of Jesus’ love, with an evermore captivated heart for the King of all kings. I no longer want to separate the church or “church professions” from the secular world. Rather, I hope to see more and more lovers of Jesus going into every sphere of society with Kingdom in their hearts, transforming communities, neighborhoods, businesses, medicine, government, education, the arts, and more!

What are you passionate about? What dreams and desires has God placed in your heart? What are you good at? Cultivate it, be captivated by Love, and advance the Kingdom of God against the dark places of this world – the gates of hell – and see God use you to finish His great work!

And pray for me that I will do the same.